Yes - I'm A Freak

So, we strolled into Lowe’s the other day to do some last minute fall plant shopping and the first thing out of Rhett’s mouth was…"You don’t want to look to the right."

You see my husband knows what will put me on one of my random rants and he had seen that the entire right side entrance to Lowe’s was what? Christmas decorations! May I remind you that it’s not even Halloween?!

You see, in our house I have set a strict precedent that there will be no Christmas buying, decorating, or mention of it whatsoever until the day after Thanksgiving…..we celebrate no holiday before it’s time. It goes Halloween….Thanksgiving…Christmas…and ne’er the three shall meet. I am very adamant about this.

So I started on my usual (tounge-in-cheek) sermon about the importance of giving each holiday its due course and while Rhett was laughing hysterically at me I started thinking about all the crazy little issues and traditions and traits people create for themselves. For instance, besides my refusal to celebrate any holiday early….

1. I refuse to chew any other kind of gum except cinnamon. And really just Dentyne Fire. And ONLY until the flavor is gone. And ONLY if I have no other breath freshening choice at my disposal. Why? Because gum is gross. What is the deal with food you chew to a pulp and then don’t swallow? And then people step on it or stick it on things…..Oh my god, I will go through 20 tins of mints before I will resort to gum. And if you ever try to touch me with a chewed piece, you might pull back a nub.

2. When I sneeze it sounds like a cough….multiple, wheezing coughs. All of my friends know to wait until the big one at the end before they say, “Was that sneezing? Well then bless you.” I would say it’s natural, but really I just figured out how to sneeze without spitting everywhere and the sound is part of it. A small price to pay for not soaking your sleeve in spittle.

3. When I am on the phone with my family (and longest, closest friends) I refuse to hang up unless the last words we say are, “Love you.” “Love you too.” Because even if we are arguing I will convince myself that it’s very likely that they will get into an accident and what if they didn’t hear me say I love you right before they kicked the bucket? It could happen. I don’t care if you are only running to the neighbors. Just say it. I won’t let you hang up ‘til you do.

4. Stuffing (or dressing for my Northern friends) is only to be consumed on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Period. Any other time of year is sacrilege. And if there are no mashed potatoes with gravy next to the stuffing, you might get an earful.

I know I’m crazy and I’m ok with it. Because I think everyone has a few wacky little things about themselves that give them the feeling of being unique and (most of the time) endear us to the people around us.

So don’t be afraid to tell. What little insanities make you who you are? I'll love you all the more for them.

- Jill

"It's Not Okay to Hate Anbody" - Atticus Finch

I have read To Kill A Mockingbird more times than I can remember. It is my favorite book on Earth. When I was younger I related to the character of Scout on a very personal level, and now that I am getting older, I have made it an ambition to always keep in mind the central theme in the book, set forth by Atticus that "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

Living from that point of view, I have been really blessed to have friends from all walks of life. We all have differences from political / religious / background standpoints. But we have something important in common too. We respect each other.

During this past election process I found myself feeling (as I have in increasing amounts every time there is an election) very sad. I don’t like the politics of using our differences to divide us. To make us choose one way “or else.” I don’t enjoy watching the American people chose sides, because to me there are no sides. Is there really an issue out there that is truly black and white?

I think that our differences (and the fact that we are free to have them and discuss them) are what make us great. And when we use those differences as an excuse to disqualify each other as people or to undermine each other…well I believe everyone loses.

I read a great quote the other day… "The one mistake that we continue to make is that we label people. We say you're conservatives, liberal, progressive, right wing, left wing. I think people just want to spend one day being Americans. They want to come together around a common purpose, common values." I really do think that’s true.

So I am challenging myself and hope you will too…when we disagree with someone, be it politically or religiously or even morally, let’s stop and ask ourselves… is it better that we argue this, or better that we listen and discuss? This is another human being... worried about their future, their children’s futures, the state or the world and who am I to tell them that what they worry about is mundane or wrong? Who am I to say that what they believe makes them a bad person? What could we both learn here? How can I climb into their skin and walk around in it?

I bet you would be shocked at how quickly the refusal to get angry and the mission to stand-up firmly but respectfully for your own beliefs would change they way the other person sees you, how you see them and maybe eventually how the two of you see the world around you. And little by little, as we all start to see things from multiple points of view, maybe this line that keeps getting drawn in the sand could slowly be erased.

I think I’d like to see my daughter grow up in that kind of world. Now, where’s my peace pipe?

- Jill